What’s up with Verizon?

I’ve been building a litany of criticisms of Verizon, to which I fork over something on the order of $200 a month for two cell phones, a land line, broadband, and fees too numerous to mention. I’m in a real crunch time right now, though, so let me just settle for one question: why does Verizon always make me call several different phone numbers when I need to change something? Aren’t they the phone company? Shouldn’t they have fancy phones that let them transfer a call from one Verizon office to another? In fact, I bet they don’t even have to pay long distance charges!

More exactly, why do I have to do all this calling? I’ve been trying for several months (since August, actually) to consolidate my two cell phone accounts into one account, and then consolidate that account with my landline and broadband, and have one bill that is automatically charged to my credit card each month (no discount for that—just “convenience”). Last night, I called Verizon Wireless Customer Support, asking them why it’s taken three months to do this. They told me I had to call Verizon Wireless One Bill. Verizon Wireless One Bill told me that Verizon Wireless Customer Support didn’t know what they were talking about, and I had to call Verizon Residential One Bill, but they were closed. Now, why can’t Verizon Wireless Customer Support just call Verizon Wireless One Bill or Verizon Wireless Residential One Bill for me and take care of it? In fact, I bet they even have interoffice email, so perhaps they could do it that way.

Anyway, just imagine four or five more stories along those lines. I’ve got ‘em.